At one o’clock this morning. Trump and Melanie tested positive for Covid-19. The words above immediately popped into my mind. What kind of person have I become? Have I become the person that I despise? Empathy for him, his family? Poof, gone… I can’t find it. Lost?
I am watching and reading with interest the early morning news. After reporting the “facts” most all commentators express their concern and in some cases prayers for them.
I just can’t find empathy for him. In my lifetime I’ve can’t ever recall not feeling empathy for another being in distress. Who am I? Who do I chose to be? Questions about the status of my own soul seem front and center.
How did I get to this place right now is beyond my ken. What am I experiencing in this absence of empathy for Trump? Fear? It is fear.
What do I fear? I fear that he will survive. How or why do I say this? It is simply because the lesson he will learn and preach from surviving will be the doom of our experiment in democracy. If he survives he will assuredly learn all the wrong things and…
- Dismiss the deadliness of the disease. “It’s not so bad.”
- Shout to all, via all means possible, his super-human manliness. “It is what it is.”
- Confirm his messiah status to his minions. “Only I can lead you out of the wilderness.”
These thoughts are against the background of the reminder that the virus doesn’t recognize status or power. Is this justice? Who knows? What could be known is there is a G_d or forces loose in this dimension surely working in mysterious ways. These ways are unknown to we mere mortals. As I write this I am personally searching for the better part or empathy in me. Underneath is a glimmer…. of empathy for us all. All, includes all.
Can I put aside my fears and rediscover empathy in myself? Today I’ll choose empathy. I am who I am.